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Fart Against The Machine

Professionally, I mean

Consistent Contradiction
3 min readOct 5, 2021
A wire fence with lots of plastic trash blown up against it; windmills in the background
Altamont Landfill, Aug 2021. Photo by author.

Eric: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Looking at my Medium stats again.”

Eric: “Want to help me measure methane emitted by landfills? Pays 30 bucks an hour.”

What will happen next? Does humanity mitigate greenhouse gas output and save the Earth? Can the methane measuring machine fit up a human butt?

To paraphrase Aristotle, I do, by nature, desire to know.

The job? Drive around the ‘fill, with equipment taped to the top of the van.

{For the curious intellectuals: The Cavity Ring Down Spectrometer machine measures ground level distribution of the methane plume. We, in the van, quantify the horizontal gasses; the other team collects vertical data. The vertical team uses two laser-shooting drones to measure methane absorption. What fun! We put it all together to generate a 3-D map of the methane curtain.} Science!

My qualifications? Terminal degree in philosophy; postdoctoral training in neurology. Driver’s license.

And they say nobody wants to work anymore. . .

Employment mismatch? Nah. Philosophy is a form of waste management. Philosophers help people manage their beliefs, thoughts, and opinions, for one. Most folks don’t know how to…

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Consistent Contradiction
Consistent Contradiction

Written by Consistent Contradiction

philosopher, psychedelics enthusiast, cat lover, communist, passionate about TV writing for social change.

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